How this book was born
* On this page you’ll discover the origins of Break Out of Your Mind! We’re sharing Leo’s story, not to impress you – but to impress on you the importance of the principles the story points to. Most of this page is taken from Chapter One.
The beginning
On the afternoon of May 1st 1996, I stepped out of my shower a changed man. It would be several hours before I could drink anything and many weeks before I could eat properly again. My whole body felt so vulnerable and delicate; it was almost as if a demon, that had possessed me for years, had been exorcised. It left raw nerve endings where once its leech-like tentacles had sucked the life out of me.
Personal growth workshops, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and counselling had been the focus of my life for the past six years. Driven by the waking nightmare of suicidal depression; of a deep, black pain that haunted my every breath, I searched everywhere for healing and an end to my suffering.
I worked with world-renowned therapists, practised powerful meditation techniques, and analysed myself into the ground. I thought I was getting somewhere. I thought I was getting better and making progress. I thought my mind could heal and free itself.
Then, completely without warning, all the pain, all the dark memories, all the agony of self-loathing, came back. In an instant, all the therapeutic work undid itself.
The pain became so extreme I could not tolerate it any more and emotionally I died. During three long, desperate, days I became a walking, talking zombie-like shell that appeared human but inside was dead, empty, and unable to feel anything except pain.
This was my state of consciousness as I stepped into the shower. As the water began to cascade over my body, a wall of fear rose in front of me. I felt trapped and alone. Previously I’d hung on to the hope that my mind-orientated therapeutic and personal growth practices had given me. I had believed that one day I would get rid of the pain if only I applied myself to doing the techniques and took part in enough workshops.
Now, all that hope had gone. It felt as if everything had failed me. My mind was unable to think a single lucid thought and the fear was almost overwhelming. Fortunately, one small memory filtered through of a spiritual teaching from years gone past.
On the afternoon of May 1st 1996, I stepped out of my shower a changed man. It would be several hours before I could drink anything and many weeks before I could eat properly again. My whole body felt so vulnerable and delicate; it was almost as if a demon, that had possessed me for years, had been exorcised. It left raw nerve endings where once its leech-like tentacles had sucked the life out of me.
Personal growth workshops, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and counselling had been the focus of my life for the past six years. Driven by the waking nightmare of suicidal depression; of a deep, black pain that haunted my every breath, I searched everywhere for healing and an end to my suffering.
I worked with world-renowned therapists, practised powerful meditation techniques, and analysed myself into the ground. I thought I was getting somewhere. I thought I was getting better and making progress. I thought my mind could heal and free itself.
Then, completely without warning, all the pain, all the dark memories, all the agony of self-loathing, came back. In an instant, all the therapeutic work undid itself.
The pain became so extreme I could not tolerate it any more and emotionally I died. During three long, desperate, days I became a walking, talking zombie-like shell that appeared human but inside was dead, empty, and unable to feel anything except pain.
This was my state of consciousness as I stepped into the shower. As the water began to cascade over my body, a wall of fear rose in front of me. I felt trapped and alone. Previously I’d hung on to the hope that my mind-orientated therapeutic and personal growth practices had given me. I had believed that one day I would get rid of the pain if only I applied myself to doing the techniques and took part in enough workshops.
Now, all that hope had gone. It felt as if everything had failed me. My mind was unable to think a single lucid thought and the fear was almost overwhelming. Fortunately, one small memory filtered through of a spiritual teaching from years gone past.
A silent voice whispered, “Feel into the pain. Feel into the blackness.”
A volcano of searing, tortured energy erupted from within as I felt into the darkness of the deep abyss opening before me. It was like diving into an ocean of suffering. From somewhere deep in that ocean there arose a wave of emotional and physical pain of such intensity that it devoured all remaining consciousness of my surroundings.
I screamed out loud as a torrent of horrific childhood memories tore loose from my gut, releasing their pain into my body. A chaotic montage of flashing, kaleidoscopic images flew across my inner vision as if I were witnessing my whole life go past me in seconds.
My fingernails clawed the tiles of the shower. A cutting pain sliced through my body as if a million bayonets were stabbing every inch of my skin surface. I screamed again. And again…
Gradually, the frenzy subsided. As I looked around, I became aware of the water still flowing over my body. And that was all that was happening. The black emotional pain had dissolved, never to return with the same intensity. My body felt incredibly delicate and fragile. But my mind, although dazed and stunned, was clear of self-torturing thoughts.
As I stepped out of the shower I was walking into a new world of increasing freedom, although I did not realise it at the time.
The journey
A new chapter of my life began with that powerful healing and continues to unfold to this day. For six weeks I could barely eat and at first it was all I could do to swallow a small quantity of water. But gradually the body adapted and acclimatised.
Something similar happened on two subsequent occasions in the weeks following this experience in the shower, fortunately without the drama. They were just times in everyday life when more emotional pain safely released itself and effortlessly dissolved.
An awareness and understanding of the process that was taking place came to me immediately after these events, and information began downloading into my brain. I intuitively felt it was valuable information and that I should write it down. This was the beginning of the book you can read today.
The Consciousness that guided me to feel into the black pit of despair also guided me to many fine spiritual teachers. Each one brought me to a new point of understanding. They awakened me to the reality of the Divine Now, the limitless Being that lives within us all as our “essence” and true identity.
The journey has not always been easy. I became permanently clear of a huge amount of emotional agony from that moment in the shower, but in many other ways I still felt confused and continued to suffer from my own ignorance. It has taken continued persistence and determination to put into practice all the wisdom that has been so graciously given.
The reward for being willing, one day at a time, to look into the truth of who I thought I was is a deep and permanent peace. This peace is present even when life offers me the gifts of challenging situations, relationships, and business dealings. I count it as the greatest blessing I could ever dream of receiving.
The birth of Consciousness
A pivotal event occurred in January 2005, during an intensive three-week retreat. I was sitting in the Virupaksha cave once inhabited by Sri Ramana Maharshi - which is in the sacred mountain of Arunachala, Southern India - when the immense reality of pure Consciousness revealed itself.
All words pale beside this magnificent Happiness that forever transformed my perception of the world and who I am. There is little I can say about it.
I walked out of the cave knowing that I AM the context, the field, within which all the universes and dimensions of form are arising. I saw through every human’s eyes. There was no separation, none. I knew myself as immortal, unchanging, unborn, without form while including all form. And there was total clarity that this I AM is living every life form – and is the essence of every human being.
This Consciousness becomes more and more my experience of being alive in the marketplace of life as each day passes. The mind that once was a seeker is now a devoted servant who wants nothing more than to look after YOU.
Learning to guide others
Everything you will read in Break Out of Your Mind! I first tested and developed in my own life. Only then did I offer the material to others. This book slowly took shape and emerged from hundreds of hours of one-to-one mentoring with individual clients, and in scores of group workshops.
Through studying and sitting with great teachers, combined with a process of trial and error experience, I learned how to take others on a similar, but much less dramatic, journey of awakening. It took ten years of intense personal and professional development to get to the point where I felt able to offer this material to the world in the form of a book.
Before I began to write I asked myself what I would do if I knew I only had six months left to live. "Write the book", was the clear reply. That is the spirit from which Break Out of Your Mind! was born. It is my gift to the world. I believe that if but one other person comes to stillness through reading these words, all the pain will have been worthwhile…
Where can you go now?
Order your copy of Break Out of Your Mind!
Look inside! Read excerpts from the book on Amazon - just click the link above
or contact us and we’ll be delighted to answer all your questions.
“This present moment – the Now - is the end of all suffering”
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